Rich outside, paycheck-to-paycheck in reality

From a very young age, I knew that money was necessary. When I was making wishes as a kid, I wished for money (or a magic wand which is the same in this age). I was also lucky to be born into a family of professional engineers who believe that a good education and hard work will pay you.

My initial view of money was: get much of it, and everything will fall into place. So, I followed the classical career path: working hard during my studies, working hard after I graduated, sacrificing a lot, and finally starting to get results. My first real job was in the 60th percentile of the market (not a bad start!), and then I basically doubled my income every three years, which brought me to the infamous 1% of the population in a reasonable amount of time.

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I’m bad with my money

I am bad at personal finances.

It was two years ago in February, I was finalizing my divorce and trying to rebuild my life with my kid. Brick by brick, I was constructing new existence: find a new rental apartment, figure out school questions, buy furniture, focus on my career (how many times the diving into my career saved me!). Still, it was a time of uncertainty, and my sanity depended on how much order I was able to bring to my life.

With time things started to fall together: my new apartment started to look like a livable place, my kid got used to a new school routine and met new friends, my investment in work brought higher title and respective routine. And then it came: one day I woke up with a sick feeling, that I am bad at personal finances.

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I love to pay my bills

I really do love to pay my bills. I like to seat, go through my routine: fill the amount and push the “Pay” button on my computer or sign a check, seal an envelope, and drop it to the postbox. I love the feeling of the done deal, feeling that I don’t owe anything and freedom coming from it. Easy-breezy

I must confess, only a year ago it was a mess. I was anxious, I was sweating and try to postpone the moment of payment as long as possible. When I finally force myself to seat and start to sort out the bills, I was already confused: what should I pay, what if I don’t have enough money, what if I forget something. Moreover, after this torching process, my seemingly significant checking account was heading to zero, and this fact set me into stress again. I always lived from paycheck to paycheck.

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